you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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