capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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