Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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