Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize