Where did you get a picture of my penis
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
