I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
