So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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