i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize