literally had 100 drinks last night.
no you cant smoke seaweed
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize