I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Someone shattered a urinal.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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