I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
