i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
