i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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