Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
