can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
