check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Randomize
