I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Watching her eat just hurts me
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Randomize
