did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
