Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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