i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
