I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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