So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
