after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
