he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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