The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize