He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
