i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
