dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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