Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
