I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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