she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
