oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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