Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
