I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
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She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
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Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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