HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.