On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
where are you?
Hypothermia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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