If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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