dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
