She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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