if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I cut my penus on the lid.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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