can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
All I want is dick and wine.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize