wakey wakey hands off snakey
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Did you just see the Batmobile???
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
