holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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