you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
