It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
