guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
