matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I'm really busy with my period
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