I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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