she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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