she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
