Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
