dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
