I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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