i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
