yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
