after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
