he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Even the bartender felt bad for me
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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