I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
