the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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