haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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