Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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