I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
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you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
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Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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