So drunk its hurt
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
