I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just found puke in my bra..
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I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
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I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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